♥ Eternal Separation

Monday, August 17, 2009

Another gloomy day of crying.
Look, even the sky is shedding its tear for me.

I'm the stupid fish who fought without its fins.
The stupid fish who fought with a kingfisher.

And lost...

I wished this was all just a joke. Really.
So cruel..

He was the judge of my heart..
He sentenced me to life imprisonment..
Just because of a small mistake I made.

All I need is you. I need you.
You know I would give my life up for anything in return.
And you walked past me, as if I'm wasn't a big part of your life before.
As if I'm invisible.

Every girl must go through this painful cycle.
Which all arguments all ended up in blood and tear shed...
Now I really want to take back my words.

And tell you again that I'll never let you go...
Be it you like it or not.. It's the only way I can survive.
You seem to move on without me easily...

I feel so inferior. I feel so pathetic when I cried for you.
Now I know that I had never been a part of you.
I'm an outcast. Or at least it's what you made me feel like.

I feel so.. useless.
When I'm not the reason for your smile.
When I'm the person you wanted to avoid all along.

Really. Although I still love you. Deeply as ever.
I hope that you can soon find your girlfriend. Or soulmate.
At least this sooner or later fact can put an end to me.

Do you know you're the reason I go to school everyday?
Do you know how painful it is, to sit on the same spot you left me?
In the library, on the bus, where you left and hinted me you'll be leaving.
Do you even still remember our first kiss? Although it was just an accident?
I'd never forget that. I know you already forgotten them.

You're the reason I smiled and cried.
You're the reason for the rain and rainbow in my sky.
The reason which made me alive. Till now.
I really don't know how long I can survive...

Do you know how much I miss the moment when we're at the cold room?
IT'S THE PLACE YOU BROUGHT ME INTO YOUR WORLD...
It's the very place.. You gave me your ring.

But now... You just sentenced me to a DEATH sentence.
Is there really no second chance?
Is fate really so cruel to me?
How do you expect me to live on...

When you cut away my fins when I'm a fish.
When you took away my wings when I'm a bird.
When you blinded and crippled me when I'm a GIRL.

Do you know how much you meant to me?
Do you really know how much I LOVE YOU?
No you would NEVER know.

Because I no longer dares to talk to you.
Because I'm afraid that I would cry infront of you.
Because I'm scared that you would know MY WEAKNESS.

YOU ARE MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS.

I want to take back my words.
I will NEVER let go. NEVER give up.
But I have no courage to say this to you...
Cos' I've done wrong in the first place..

I guess there's really no second chance for me.
You've destroyed all hopes of a reincarnated soul.
I need you. I really do.
You took away my pride and dignity.
You took away all my love and left me alone.
You even took me away from myself.

Flashes of memories of you formed a black and white rainbow in my mind.
Minutes before my death I am reminded of the sweet moments.
Seconds before my death your kisses came back as reminiscents...

Within a split second, a murderous transition of the heart occurred, I'm no longer alive at heart.

But that very moment before my actual death,
that very memory of what happened in your house came swamping back, draining all the remaining life off me.

I'll never forget what you did to me on your bed.

Never.

Baelia has walked away at 3:51 AM