Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I really miss him.
But he'll always be in my heart, right?
If only his words were real.
I'd search over th horizon for them.
I know this isn't meant t be.
But I'll continue scouring every ends of this earth.
Baelia has walked away at
2:26 PM
Saturday, December 19, 2009
I'm glad that no one ever peeks into this blog.
Here's a truly safe place for me t pour my heartfelts.
This feeling is so familiar...
I felt it before, but I lost it.
Now I feel it again, but I feel so lost.
How could this be?
This is just a crush right, Bay?
But...
...
There's a guy whose really mean & nasty & disgusting.
He's so uncouthed & rude & dumb at first.
But above all these I'm still drawn t him...
He pulled my hair. He called me stupid. He teases me.
He's a really bad boy, bad t th bone.
But I feel something tingling whenever I think of him..
Is this really what I think?
I'm sure he only treats me like a brother.
We've done so many good&bad things together, as a guy of course.
Is this for real?
Am I in love again?
No. I cannot be in love again. That'd be disastrous.
I don't know what t do...
That feeling.. is so cozy & warmth..
Brick.. is my feelings for you admiration, infatuation, or love?
Or is this just my hallucination?
Someone help me..
Brick.. Bay.. Brothers..
Baelia has walked away at
4:00 PM
Friday, November 13, 2009
Goodbye Max, although he'd hurt me real deeply.
Goodbye to this blog, I'll never visit here again.
I'd never loved you
because you're not who I want you to be.
You've never loved me,
because I'm not who I am right from the start.
I've never had this feeling,
to have someone there & yet felt so alone.
I never felt this hopeless,
to experience heaven & and yet hell the next minute.
We've threaded on the hills of this country,
leaving our footprints as marks of love.
Washed away by rain,
forgotten in time;
Broken was the love I had never once lied,
gone was the judge of heart who had once reside.
♥ Baelia has left this seemingly endless misery ♥
12November.23April.12August.
Baelia has walked away at
3:08 AM
Friday, August 28, 2009
我知道我不该那么做.
可是我想做个干脆的了断.
我不管我是不是伤到你,
我想我该让你知道.
不,不用了.别再做傻事.
感觉已失去了,就真的找不回来了.
我没骗你.我真的深爱过你.
但..当你说你已经不爱我的那时候,
我已经死了.变得没有感觉.
不再是活生生的人了.
现在回到我的生边,何必呢?
如果你真的爱我,你就不会离开.
别玩弄我们之间的爱情了.
我们的故事已经结束了.
不可能再像回忆那样.
今天的我,是你一手造成的.
别问为什么.我不会在爱上你.
当初,你能随随便便地把我当成是透明似的.
你已经让我深深对你断绝了每一首希望.
对不起.
我们不可能再是曾经的 仪讽与丽晶...
长痛不如短痛.何必呢?
现在彼此的伤害,值得吗?
你只会自我中心.根本不把我放在眼里.
我是不会回去的.放弃吧.
这首悲惨的爱情故事已经到了完结篇..
不再有下一次...
也许是我还在害怕你吧.
或者是,我真的不爱你了.
对不起.我们只能协手走到这里.
你我人生的下一步,独生自走吧.
放开我的回忆,放开我对你破碎的爱.
擦干心里的眼泪,勇敢向前往开一步...
望了我们曾有过的回忆吧.
抱歉了,请放开我的手.
我不再属于你.你也不再是我的了.
如果我能放开一切,我相信你也行.
我们曾经爱过彼此...
爱一个人,不容易.
怎样面对一切,我们也不知道.
我们还是好朋友,不是吗?
别开口,忍着点.
悲恸就会渐渐离开...
要好好的活...
开心的过每一个日子...
爱你的晶晶已经死了.
12 August.
Live on with the memories...
Learn from your mistakes, but never regret.
Although I'm gone in the end,
always remember, people changes, things go wrong.
we're still here, and life goes on...
♥ 12 August .. ;
你是个好男人.更是个好爱人...
别为了我而糟蹋自己.不值得.
我们的心,永远难料.
愿下世,在做你的终生伴侣...
Baelia has walked away at
6:36 AM
感觉一旦失去了,就找不回来.
放手是唯一的选择.
最近很迷茫,失魂落魄的.
一直在想对你最好的做法,
但是卻按捺不住自己心裡的感受.
其实心裡还是很紧张你,
時刻想知道你还安康吗,
想知道你有沒有按時食饭..
什么都想知道...
可是我知道这样会让你痛苦..
所以我选择了一條让我更痛的路...
爱一個人, 原來真的要学會放手.
雖然会痛, 可是如果这样做会让你好过,
看到你幸福, 我就开心,满足了.
既然我們都找不到平衡點，
那只好放轻一点，
这样才不会跌得重。
玩出火了.
很后悔..
心已经痛到沒感觉了,
很想佔有,
可是全都沒有了...
请大家好好珍惜身边的人,
再次失去,才学懂珍惜...
人就是那么犯戒,
永远不会顾別人的感受,
只會自我中心.
好像我这样的人永远也不会有好結果,
最后都只会受伤
开始觉得生活沒有意义了...
沒有寄托...什么都沒有.
很諷刺...自己一直以为自己做得很好,
可是原來一直以來都忽略了身边最重要的人的感受.
真的,真的很后悔..
我会想你的...永远也会.
也许我还放不下吧.
或者是我还在牵挂着回忆.
我网看了我们曾有过的美满时段,
觉得好可惜.可是这也是我犯的错.
我对他人要负责...
还在徘徊着..该不该那么做呢?
一个人面对这种生活困苦..不好受.
等我的泪流完,花也械了.
放手真不容易.要我当着没事发生过更加困难.
生边每次都觉得空空的.
像是属于我的东西被拿走似的.
像他这样的男孩很难找...
万人之上...
如果当初我没回到他的生边就好了!
-
网络的男友,怎么也不必生边的最爱跟重要呀.
我真傻!可是现在后悔有什么用?
无路可走了.不能回头.
只好过单生生活吧.
我能放手,我知道我行的.
我并不需要时间.我也不需要你的安慰.
跟不需要其他男人的关怀.
我只爱他.
除非你告诉我,你是我生命的天使.
可是我会觉得那是一派胡言!~
看看有那个男孩能忍受我的脾气吧.
要我吃回头草,是不可能的.
感情一旦失去了,就找不回来.
我也曾对前男友说,
当你等到我醒来时,我已经不爱你了.
我变心了.也许是你我的错.
我对你的无奈.发现我不再对你有爱感.
我并不要求他高大威猛.
只想它能牵就我.
样子并不重要.但我偏偏喜欢会放电的男孩.
不是每个男孩都能让我谜的神魂颠倒.
也许>你<就不是我要找的终生伴侣.
是你的就是你的,谁也夺不走.
不是你的,永远也不会是.
放弃吧.
know your limits.
癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉.
跟你就像是...
鲜花插在牛粪上!
照照镜子,去死吧~!
Baelia has walked away at
6:35 AM
Love is just like quicksand.
Leave it within your fingers and there it stays.
Clutch it if you can and it darts away.
I still miss the memories now. but I've let go.
and I find it funny when people say that love is useless.
Not exactly. In a way or another.
How do you compare the euphoria you experience,
when you get all A1, and you get a high salary job and yet you're alone at home.
And, when you're poor. But you have a loved one beside you.
The feeling is different, for all you know.
Money isn't everything. Love isn't everything either.
But at some point in life you'll need someone there.
Cos' no matter how strong you are,
you can still be troubled by matters of the heart.
I'm sure a lot of people agree. Because they've been through it.
Unlike you. Insensitive and rude. Uncaring and preceded.
It's time you consider not to be a slave of the government and your boss.
Working day and night just for money and promotions.
Is that your "so-called" life motive?
Do you find it happy when you return to a home alone?
You find that something is already missing from the start.
And in life, I find, but to no avail, and I fail,
to find that special someone to be by my side.
Some say it's effortless. Yet some say you need to put in effort.
Some say it's natural. Yet you still have to consider fate.
Some say it's spontaneous, but nonchalant people ends up being single.
I think that you really need to work hard for what you want.
In the end, what matters most is what you've put in, not yourself or whoever.
And I know, we know, he knows that I've/We've tried our best.
Trying to save a relationship isn't easy, everyone knows that.
It's a wrong decision I've made in the past, I have to account for that.
And that's the reason why, I tried.
The operational words here are, "I tried".
Trying guarantees no success or failure. It could go either way.
And seemingly it's fated that my life is to go another way.
The only way is to let go and live on with the memories.
People have been saying, doubting my ability to live on.
I doubted myself too. But, too, I find it really hard to die.
It's funny why people die so easily and suddenly.
And in contrary how tardy I was facing death in the face.
Maybe it's a new chance for me.
I know wherever, over the edges of the horizon,
there's that special someone. Who can morph this nightmare of mine.
Whether in the end I found him or not,
it's all meant to be.
So, no rush. But.
Some people keep asking me whether I believe in astrology.
Here's the answer:
Yes I do. Fuck those who doesn't.
Astrology plays a part in you. Whoever you are.
Your personality, your traits, even your physical appearances.
Is totally or spatially linked. To astrology.
I believe. It's all in the stars, right?
Can't you see that I'm a typical Scorpio?
Use your brains.
Baelia has walked away at
6:35 AM
I'm officially over this damsel in distress thingy.
Mark my words, over him, over memories, over the pre-myself.
CANCER, it's time for you to see who I really am.
My true colors which you've NEVER seen when I was your girlfriend.
Die collapsed in my poisons.
A new life begins.
Baelia is finally single again!
Single life rocks, FREEDOM!
No MAXimum limit to go,
No latest time to report to my boyfriend (boss).
No one to irritate me!
I AM. BUT A FOOLISH GIRL.
with the only goal in her heart ~
Th rain may come, th sun may set,
but there's something she will never regret ~
I'll never find love again.
Find me if you want me.
Leave me alone if you're a coward or a wimp.
Ignore me if you're a bastard.
Hate me if you're a daredevil.
I've finally discovered how beautiful the morning sun is.
I'm a fish that breathes off coast!
I'm a bird who could walk!
I'm a girl who could love!
You see;
Everything comes to an end.
Void would be our utmost eternity.
Death gets nearer to us every fickling moment.
I'll never fall prey to love AGAIN.
Taking this as a lesson,
my scars as a fleshy monument,
my eternal regrets as a reminder to keep me away from peril.
I'm back. Harder. Bigger. Badder. Stronger.
And I await my obstacles. Bring them on because.
I'll still prevail in the end.
Baelia has walked away at
6:34 AM
